Mastering Communication – Resource site for COM60: "Mastering Interpersonal and Business Communication" at Stanford Continuing Education

COM60: 2017 Winter Section: Reading and Homework

COM60 Homework after Class 1:

Introduce yourself to 5 people.
Bonus Homework: ask one or more of those people for feedback after you have been chatting for a while.

(Remember doing things that are a little outside your comfort zone helps you move those things into your comfort zone. Introducing yourself to 5 new people is a great weekly habit.)

COM60 Reading before Class 2 (Jan 19):

Reading in “Messages” Book (Messages: The Communication Skills Book)

Pages 6 – 55 (details below)

Part I (Part 1): Basic Skills

Listening(Page 5 – 23)
Validation Strategies (Page 24 – 34)
Expressing (Page 35 – 55) (MOST IMPORTANT SECTION: Read 1st, if you don’t think you can read everything)

I find the reading goes pretty fast, if you are squeezed for time, scan the pages, looking at the headlines and bold text and get the gist of the ideas. These are very good ideas covered in not much text so I think you’ll find the time well worth it.

In particular, I believe the Chapter 3: Expressing is the most valuable of the three section, so you may want to prioritize reading this chapter first.

COM60 Homework After Class 2:

For your homework this week, take note of the way other’s bring up issues and be mindful of the “Net” model in your own communication. You can even practice listening to others at a cafe or lunch room. Do you best to use the model of “naming behavior” and describing the “hidden impact” that others aren’t able to see.

COM60 Reading before Class 3 (Jan 26):

Part II (Part 2): Advanced Skills

Body Language: Page 59 – 69
Paralanguage and Metamessages: Page 70-80 (especially page 77: Verbal Modifiers and page 78 Coping with MetaMessages)
Hidden Agendas: Page 80-89
Transactional Analysis: Page 90 – 103
Clarifying Language Page 104 – 122 (especially page 121-122 Summary chart)

(Optional: if you want to read ahead over this rainy weekend, otherwise this reading will be assigned next week) In the HBR Book, “On Communication”: The Power of Talk, Who Get’s Heard and Why, by Deborah Tannen. Page 43-65. This is an excellent article but it’s dense and takes longer to read than the Messages book pages, so only read ahead if you have the time to dedicate to reading at a slower pace.

COM60 Reading before Class 5 (Feb 9):

In the HBR Book, “On Communication”: The Power of Talk, Who Get’s Heard and Why, by Deborah Tannen. Page 43-65. This is an excellent article but it’s dense and takes longer to read than the Messages book pages

Part III (Part 3): Social Skills: Page 125-187

#9 Assertiveness Training: (be sure to read pages 126-127 carefully)
Read carefully: Responding to Criticism: pages 137 – 149.
#10 Fair Fighting:
#11 Validation Strategies: Read carefully: Why Does Validation Work? and Validation Strategies pages 162-172.
#12 Negotiation: be sure to read When Your Opponent Plays Dirty page 186-187

HOMEWORK: During the reading, please make notes (In the book, a google document, or piece of paper) and bring them to class. We’ll do an exercise in class based on the answers you provide on pages 132 and 134.

COM60 Reading before Class 6 (Feb 16):

The reading this week is entirely in the “Messages Book”:

Part IV (Part 4): Social Skills: Page 191-220
Prejudgment
Making Contact #15 (Be sure to read this section on making conversation) 205 – 220

Part V (Part 5) Family Skills (page 223 – 281)

Be sure to pay particular attention to the Section on Expressing: 251 -255, and 255-256 on I-messages.

HOMEWORK: Do the short exercises on Page 196 and 197;
Optional bonus homework: Note your schemas, (page 229).

Next week’s reading will be light, so if you didn’t finish reading the Deborah Tannen article “Power of Talk”, it would be best to read that next week when the reading will be a little lighter.

COM60 Reading before Class 7 (Feb 23):

This is the final reading and completes the book! YAY!

Part VI (Part 6) Public Skills page 285 – 341.

If you did not complete reading the Tannen article “Power of Talk” earlier, this is the week to do it!

Resources for Staying Fresh

Here are three great articles to keep in mind when you want a tune-up:

8 Ways Smart People Act Stupid

12 Habits Of Genuine People

People with high EQs make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQs. Ninety percent of top performers have high EQs, and a single-point increase in your EQ adds $1,300 to your salary.

12 Lessons You Learn Or Regret Forever

Reading Assignments in Messages Book

Hi COM60 Class,

After reviewing the feedback I received, I heard from several people that they would like to focus on work related issues: Co-workers and dialogue with bosses and direct reports. In light of that, I will modify the order of a few exercises so we can cover this in greater detail next week. Also to prepare for those exercises, we’ll read a few chapters in the book out of order as follows:

Also, give some thought to sections you’d like to work on: Being a boss, being an employee in an exercise, dealing with crafting an email or have a back and forth dialogue. I may bring different exercises to allow people to choose the situation they most want to work on.

Next Reading in “Messages” Book:

Part III (Part 3): Conflict Skills

Assertiveness Training (Page 125 – 149)

Fair Fighting (Page 150 – 160)
Validation Strategies (Page 150 – 160)
Negotiation (Page 173 – 187)
Please take a short look at the Clarifying Language section summary (especially page 121-122 Summary chart) if you have time.

Optional Bonus Reading: Page 89:103

Transactional Analysis: This will be most useful for those of you working on triggers and “buttons” (being triggered, or triggering others)

Preview for the coming weeks:

After Class 4 the reading assignment will skip ahead and be to prepare us for the Public Speaking Guest Lecturer from the Graduate School of Business:

Part VI (Part 6):